Wondering widower won’t wait by the phone – The Denver Post


Dear Amy: After 31 years with my spouse, I’m now dating (I’m a widower). Dating is a new thing for me.

There is a guy with whom I thought I had a good rapport. He reached out to me last week expressing an interest in getting together over the weekend. I responded that I’d like that, and gave him my availability.

I never heard back from him. I thought maybe he had an emergency, and I texted him Sunday night just to confirm that he was OK.

He replied, apologizing for the weekend getting away from him, and said that he had a work project due the next day.

I respect the fact that he takes his work seriously, but I am bothered that he did not let me know his weekend plans were changed.

I may be old-fashioned, but this situation just makes me think we are not as aligned as I thought. To me, a quick text letting me know he needed to cancel would have been common courtesy. I think he was telling me he is not that interested.

Is this how things work now, where you don’t really need to let someone know if you are opting out of previously stated plans? Maybe I am out of touch.

— Dating Newbie

Dear Newbie: Welcome to the dating world, where — no matter what era — someone is always waiting by the phone.

Even though modern technology has made it possible for us to be in touch — frequently and instantly — basic human behavior and dynamics have stayed fairly constant over time.

If someone wants to be with you, he will leap over boundaries and deadlines to see you. And if an emergency keeps him away, you will be the first to know, because — yes! — you are just a text or a quick call away.