This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Samantha Jordan, a 30-year-old professional nanny, newborn care specialist, and postpartum doula who splits her time between Las Vegas and Upland, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I’ve been a professional nanny for 12 years. I started when I was 18, while I was in college, and over the years I’ve worked with ultra-high-net-worth families. I’m also a newborn care specialist and postpartum doula.
Travel is a big part of nannying. Sometimes families hire me specifically for a trip, whether that’s two months in Europe or a week in Cabo. Other times, I’m working at their home in a full-time, long-term position. I know other nannies who travel every week or get a call on a random Friday to go to the Bahamas.
I’ve learned a lot through those experiences, including emergency preparedness, screen-free ways to entertain children, and situational awareness in a new place. I always want to be aware of my surroundings, especially when I’m caring for someone else’s children.
One thing that’s nonnegotiable for me: I don’t fly on private planes.
I bring this up in the very first interview
I know many families I interview with typically fly privately. I let them know right off the bat, so neither of us wastes time if flying private is something they require. I think parents really appreciate transparency and honesty up front.
Sometimes, though, a family may really like me as a candidate and be willing to make an exception — working with me and letting me fly commercial.
If we reach that point, I make sure our agreement is in writing. I want everything we’ve discussed and agreed upon included in the contract so we both have something to refer back to.
I interviewed with one family that required regular helicopter flights. We couldn’t reach an agreement, so unfortunately I had to pass on the job.
My hesitation partly comes from a story my husband told me
He told me about a private flight he took as a college athlete that felt like it suddenly dropped. I don’t know the details of the aircraft or what caused it, but it stuck with me.
Since then, I’ve read more about private flying, and the unfamiliarity makes me nervous — especially because I already don’t love flying. I know the level of oversight can vary depending on the operator and type of flight, but I personally feel more comfortable on a commercial airline. I am not comfortable flying private.
Even if crashes are rare, rarity doesn’t eliminate risk
I’m not particularly interested in taking on additional risks simply because they’re statistically unlikely to materialize. When I’m traveling professionally, I’m responsible for someone else’s children. That responsibility influences how I evaluate situations, including those that most people might not think twice about.
I recognize that private aviation isn’t inherently unsafe, but I also don’t believe that access to private aviation automatically makes it the better choice. If commercial airlines can accommodate our needs, that’s where I’m most comfortable.
I’ve found ways to travel with families without flying privately
I’ve also convinced some families to fly commercially. Other families are fine with me meeting them at the destination. The family always covers my airfare. I once met a family in Mexico after they flew there privately.
Before traveling, I’ll ask questions like whether we’re traveling during naptime, what I can bring, and what I can pack on their jet if I’m meeting them there and they’re taking the children on the jet.
I have other safety boundaries, too. I always need to know who’s driving. I won’t get in a car with a stranger, even if it’s a chauffeur. I need to meet them and know who they are.
I also don’t like getting in the ocean if I can’t see the bottom or my feet. I’m not going to take babies to the beach by myself, and I’m not going to have them in the water. I’d rather not run an unnecessary risk.
Nannies can feel pressured to put their jobs before their safety
I don’t think all nannies have adequate protection when traveling for work. We’re sometimes pressured into uncomfortable positions where we have to make choices. There’s not always regard for us in every situation.
I posted videos about these concerns on TikTok after the recent crash in Florida, and people said they had never thought about them before. Some nannies said they would make changes to their contracts.
It can be uncomfortable speaking up. I think that’s because it’s such an intimate relationship, and there are a lot of blurred lines. You become friendly and like family, but you still have to speak up for yourself and remind them, “Hey, I’m actually your employee.”
I mentor other nannies, and one thing I tell them is to get curious and see where the family is coming from. I think a lot of the time, the expectations of the nanny and the family aren’t aligned. You need to understand what to expect and have those conversations from an honest place.
Families need to take their nannies’ boundaries seriously
Nannies should remember that they always have a choice, even if that choice costs you your job. I’d also encourage them to be accommodating and offer alternatives.
Most nannies are incredibly self-sacrificing. If a nanny is setting a boundary, it’s serious and should be taken as such. If you have the money to accommodate, accommodate.
Employers should ask whether their nanny is comfortable flying privately and specify the type of aircraft and operator. They should ask what kinds of travel the nanny is and isn’t comfortable with, and why. They should also ask what insurance they have, whether the nanny is comfortable flying commercially with the children by herself, and what safety standards they have around travel.
This is intimate, hard work. Nannies give everything they have to families, and sometimes they give their lives. This isn’t just babysitting. Take care of each other, and really appreciate your nanny.
