In today’s world – where attention is scarce, communication moves fast and more relationships happen through screens than handshakes – leaders are rediscovering something important: connection is still the differentiator. Technology can accelerate business, but genuine relationships still drive trust, loyalty, and opportunity.
Several years back, I received a voicemail from a Marquette University administrator inviting me to the 100 Years of Marquette Basketball celebration during the 2016-‘17 season. I had spent two seasons on staff as the coordinator of basketball operations, but I definitely wasn’t one of its former stars. I even called back to make sure the invite wasn’t meant for someone else. Turns out, the invitation was indeed meant for me – so I happily accepted.
The celebration was memorable, but one moment from that evening offered a leadership lesson that has stayed with me ever since.
As I walked into the reception, I reconnected with players and staff I worked with from 2005- ‘07. I saw Marquette legends like Bo Ellis and Travis Diener. But the person who made the biggest impression that night – and many nights – wasn’t the most famous. He was, however, the tallest.
Jim McIlvaine – former Marquette star, former NBA center and longtime radio commentator – reminded me what real networking and leadership look like. Not the transactional kind. The human kind.
Here are eight networking lessons I learned from Jim – lessons leaders anywhere can apply today.
1. Have an other-focused plan
Jim didn’t show up thinking about himself. He arrived early carrying a commemorative poster from the celebration. When we started talking, he handed me a Sharpie and said, “Will you sign this?”
I laughed. “You want my autograph?”
“Yes,” he said. “You were part of this.”
Great connectors – and great leaders – look for ways to raise others up first.
2. Be authentic
Jim’s social media shows racing updates, childhood T-shirts and basketball commentary. Nothing curated. Nothing filtered. Just a human being… being human. Authenticity builds trust. Trust builds teams.
3. Have fun on purpose
One of my favorite memories happened long after my time on staff. Jim jumped in with the Marquette band during a game – full uniform, full commitment – and played the drums all night. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He was simply enjoying the moment. Leaders who embrace joy create environments where connection comes
naturally.
4. Make people feel uniquely seen – and listen like it matters
Even after years without talking, Jim remembered details about my life and leadership work. He asked meaningful questions and listened fully – no scanning the room, no checking his phone, no rush. Being genuinely listened to is one of the simplest, most powerful forms of leadership.
5. Bring positive energy
When Marquette prepared to face teams with towering centers, Jim (as a former player) would lace up his old shoes and step on the court to help simulate their big men. Jim brought encouragement and positivity every time. Energy is contagious. Leaders who bring the right energy elevate everyone around them.
6. Acknowledge people warmly
Jim doesn’t let people walk past unnoticed. He makes eye contact, smiles, waves and greets everyone – from former teammates to event staff to young fans. Small gestures set the tone for strong cultures.
7. Walk slowly through the crowd
Most leaders rush from one conversation to the next. Jim doesn’t. He takes his time, stops for photos, and gives people his attention. Opportunity often appears when you slow down long enough to let it in.
8. Connect people who should meet
One season, Jim invited his former Seattle SuperSonics teammate, NBA All-Star Detlef Schrempf, to work out at Marquette’s practice facility. I was young and still finding my footing. Jim made sure to introduce me. Leaders who share relationships create opportunities for others.
Why this matters now
In Wisconsin – where business still runs on relationships, reputation and trust – leaders who connect deeply stand out. Technology can make us faster, but it can also make us more distracted. The leaders who slow down enough to truly see people are the ones who build teams, cultures and communities others want to join. Jim McIlvaine’s approach isn’t complicated. It’s generous, consistent and rooted in treating people well. And it’s exactly what leadership needs more of today.
