Hot wheels
The other day on Lisbon Street, I saw one fully grown man pushing another fully grown man in what appeared to be some kind of souped-up shopping cart. The dude riding in the cart must have been 30 years old, but I swear he was grinning so broadly, his face took on the giddy sheen of an ecstatic 5-year-old. I think I might have even heard him yell “wheeeee!” as the cart jumped a curb and sped across the street. I don’t begrudge the fellow this kind of nostalgic fun. I just wish I had whatever it was these guys were smoking that day.
Spinning all the hits
For some reason, my work email address got on some list somewhere and now I’m getting glowing press releases for all the musical artists in the world. And I mean all of them. As of last Tuesday, I can tell you what “brooding and intense” recreational songwriter is releasing his next album from Milwaukee; what Los Angeles-based vocalist is spitting out a “beautiful diorama that tries to contain the many divergent threads of folk, all bound by her soaring voice,” and which country music icon will produce her first studio album in more than a decade. I also happen to know that latter will be “a deeply reflective journey through heartbreak and healing, faith and perseverance, challenges and growth.” It’s good to know that while I sometimes have to wait long, miserable hours for information from the police department just down the road, at least the global music industry has my back.
New computer
So, I bought this new computer with just bonzer specs. We’re talking 32 GB of expandable RAM, a spiffy fast processor and an SSD with a terabyte just waiting to be filled. This Lenovo is all set up and ready to take over as my daily driver at any time. Yet, here I sit, pecking at the keys on my moribund Dell, produced during the early part of the Obama administration when RAM was still in the single digits. Why no switchy? It’s pure superstition, bros. Since the desktop computer is such a fundamental part of my day-to-day existence, I feel as though switching to another machine may cause me to undergo a radical transformation. What if the Lenovo is more mature and serious about life? What if it doesn’t inspire thoughts of alien invasions in Kennedy Park or futuristic cities at the bottom of the Lewiston canals? God forbid, what if the new machine makes me itch to become an education reporter or something terrible like that? Well, I know now what I have to do. I have to burn it before I become one of THEM.
Election Day!
Ha! You really thought I’d have something to say about Election Day? You don’t know me at ALL!
Mark LaFlamme is an award-winning Sun Journal reporter and columnist. He’s covered the nighttime police beat since 1994, which is just grand because he doesn’t like getting out of bed before noon. He is the author of eight published novels and rides a dual sport motorcycle everywhere he goes. Unless it’s winter, in which case he just sulks a lot.
