At home, my little family is predictable. We wake up early, walk our dog every afternoon, and eat pizza on Friday nights. I know all of my 9-year-old’s moods and habits, but travel breaks routine — and sometimes, that’s where the real magic is.
Years ago, on a trip to Lake Tahoe, I realized that traveling with my son is the best way to get to know him. Recently, though, I’ve realized it’s also a great way for him to get to know me.
At home, I nag my little guy to pick up dirty clothes, eat his vegetables, and I probably say “one minute” too many times while I’m at my computer trying to finish an assignment. Vacation mom, on the other hand, eats chocolate for breakfast, pretends to be a shark in the pool, and has plenty of time to linger in gift shops. On vacation, my son gets to see who I am outside the daily grind.
Travel creates space we don’t have at home. When we have time to explore and just play without the usual interruptions, my son gets a peek at who I was as a kid.
These small travel habits help us learn about each other on every trip.
We don’t overbook
When I’m visiting somewhere new, it’s tempting to want to do ALL the things. When I’m with my son, we don’t. Sure, I research before we go and roughly plan an itinerary, but we don’t overbook.
There’s something special about stumbling upon new things together. I’ve learned that when we plan too much, even if it’s things I know he’ll enjoy, it can sometimes feel too reminiscent of the hustle and bustle of home. When we build relaxation into the itinerary, like beach days and pool time, it gives us a chance to create our own fun together.
Courtesy of Nicole Findlay
We talk to locals
When we travel, like most people, we end up in conversations with locals. I get to see how my son interacts with new people in new situations, and vice versa. In our day-to-day routine, we often mix with the same people — teachers, friends, and family — so this is a side of him I don’t always witness. On vacation, my son also gets to see me in a different light.
On one particular afternoon in Oahu, a waiter noticed my son’s drawing pad and struck up a conversation about art. He shared his cool, artistic background, recommended a specific brush pen, and then gave my son a few of his own stunning sketches to take home.
Travel makes the best memories, and moments like this really stick. They can even go so far as to shape how we see the world.
We make our meals an event
I love dining out with my family. Without the distractions of our dog barking at the neighbors, a messy kitchen, and an ever-growing to-do list, time feels like it slows down, just a little, and we get the chance to really talk.
On a recent trip to Salt Lake City, my son and I visited the mountain city’s museums, explored pretty gardens, and even hiked at Snowbird, a ski resort that trades snow for wildflowers in the summer. But the most memorable part of our trip was eating wood-fired pizzas on a patio surrounded by cool street art.
Sitting across from him, sans my husband or a kid’s color-me-in menu that usually occupies him until the food arrives, I chatted with my little conversationalist. I learned about all his favorite parts of our vacation and a few things he didn’t like so much. He asked more questions than usual, probably because he wasn’t coloring, and we chatted well after our pizzas were long-gone.
Anthony Bourdain famously noted that you learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together. I’ve always believed this, but I didn’t realize it equally applied to children.
My son is still young, and there’s so much more to learn about him and who he will grow up to be. I just hope he’ll always want to travel with me.
